Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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