Little spoons don't ask big questions
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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