I'm really into asian looking animals
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize