WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
