yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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