Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
