Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We left an ass print on the piano.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
