we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
