You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
