Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
