i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
