I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
