you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
