don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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