you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize