super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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