Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
