he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
