If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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