So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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