Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
