there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
