Umm I'm too high to move.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
