careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
