I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
