hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
