Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
