it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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