Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
