So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
