My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
