How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
