Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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