Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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