i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
time to smoke my breakfast
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize