I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
