dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
