im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
