Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
