I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
