So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
