She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize