The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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