you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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