Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
