You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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