I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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