How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
