speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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