you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
