I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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