the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize