We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
