how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
