What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
