he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
