Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
