I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
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