my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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