is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Boobs speak an international language.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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