help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
