Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
