We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
