God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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